Friendship

Friendship is crucial to our mental wellbeing, no matter our age. These connections enrich our lives with mutual support and enjoyment. We need these relationships to help us manage the stressors of everyday (and not so everyday) life. But what do we do if our friend is what we are stressed about? 

The answers are surprisingly similar, regardless of our age: 

  1. Open the door 
    Let your friend know you are worried about them. Try to do this in a non-judgmental way. Remember your goal is to get them to talk to you, not to make them feel bad for letting you down as a friend. Some ideas to think about, “I’m worried about you. I’ve noticed X and Y has happened recently and I wanted to let you know that I’m here for you” or “I get worried when I hear you say “X and Y. Can we talk about it?
  2. Just listen
    Easier said than done.  When someone we care about is upset, it’s natural to want to spring into action to make things better. Try to curb that impulse by just listening and offering emotional support. Often, that’s exactly what our friends need to feel better, just to know someone cares enough to listen.
  3. Pay attention to your gut
    You may not be a mental health professional, but you probably know your friend better than a lot of people. If your friend’s challenges seem like more than you can hold alone or if you are feeling worried about your friend’s safety, bring in more support. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text The National Crisis Text Line at 741741.
  4. Encourage your friend to get help
    There are many screening tools from Mental Health America at https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/. Your friend can reach out to FSG for counseling or referrals.
  5. Make sure you have support
    It is so easy, and normal, to feel stressed when a friend is struggling. Talk to someone you trust: a parent, coach, your sibling, and or your own therapist. Try not to talk to mutual friends or acquaintances unless they also know what your friend is going through.  

It may be difficult to bring these things up with a friend. Doing so shows that friend how much you care. When they’re feeling better, your friendship may be stronger because you took the time and energy to look out for them.