Giving in a Material World
The holidays are once again upon us. Everywhere we turn we are reminded that ‘tis the season to give, give, give. Consumerism is highlighted on every billboard, decorated in every shop window, and flashed on every television commercial. If we are living in a material world, as Madonna so poignantly sang to us, how do we give responsibly in a material world?
Togetherness. Tradition. This is what we truly long for. What do you remember most about your childhood holidays? Was it the gifts you received? Or was it the time spent with family and friends? This year, take time to make traditions your family will look forward to each winter. Decorate the house. Bake cookies or find special recipes that you only break out this time of year. Visit a nursing home to sing carols. Have a snow football game in the backyard or a family game night. Take a drive to look at holiday decorations. Invite the neighbors to light candles with your family. Make memories.
Research shows that things do not bring us happiness. Gratitude does. Instead of over-emphasizing the gift-giving aspect of the holidays, choose to focus on the special people in your life. Showing love and appreciation for others does not have to deplete your savings account. Write a heartfelt note of thanks to your child’s teacher or coach. Go out of your way to say thank you to the mail carrier and garbage collector. Bring a plate of cookies to the crossing guard who always makes sure your child arrives home safely. Model gratitude for your children – this will pay off when they catch on that thanking you for your efforts puts a smile on your face, too. Remember: it is not happy people who are thankful, but thankful people who are happy.
It is obviously not reasonable, however, to expect that you will neither give nor receive any gifts. Grandma and Grandpa want to buy their grandchildren presents. Let them! It brings them joy! This year, consider asking relatives to give the gift of their time. Perhaps they could purchase a museum membership for your whole family or tickets to a sporting event or theatre production to experience with the kids. An aunt or uncle could commit to taking the kids on a monthly movie date. Some families choose to make donations to charities in each other’s honor. If you know that your relatives feel compelled to buy your children toys, think about asking your children to collect some items beforehand that they are no longer using to donate to those in need.
Most of all, remember your goals. What do you want to teach your children? It could be a feeling of gratitude, the importance of family time, service to others, or simply the joy of giving another person a carefully selected heartfelt gift. There are many ways to give. Choose the ones that best suit you and your family. Happy holidays!